What am I doing? I am freaking out. Or at least I was. I think I am past the worst of it. At some point I lost confidence in myself and the whole idea of learning Cantonese and going to Hong Kong alone for 5 weeks seemed absolutely absurd. I have been avoiding studying Cantonese and even went back to my roots so to speak and was studying Italian again--probably not that usefull in Hong Kong, LOL Just the fact that I am writing about this tells me that I am coming out of it. And it isn't absurd, it is an adventure. An adventure I have wanted to take for years but couldn't for various reasons. As soon as my freak out is completely over, I will get excited about that again I am sure.
One thing I did do in this time was to decide finally where I am going to take classes in Hong Kong. The 3 week intensive class at CUHK intimidated me and I was worried that I would be spending too much of my trip alone in my room doing homework. I am sure it is a great class, but not really for me, not this trip anyway. So I am going with the classes via languagesabroad.com. The description of the classes seem like something I could comfortably do and still hopefully learn a lot of Cantonese. They actually have a homestay component which sounds appealing on one level and stressful on the other--I haven't lived with anyone in decades so right there that would be quite an adjustment but then to have to only communicate Cantonese with them ... that is for a future trip, not this one.
Now that that is settled, my trip is planned. Which is why it has been frustrating to me that I have been freaking out versus getting excited. And I am getting excited, this is my biggest trip ever. And hopefully it will answer a question I have had about myself for a long time--am I flexible enough to live overseas? In my mind if I can't do it in a big international city like Hong Kong, I won't be able to do it anywhere.
Meanwhile I am planning on doing a lot of vocabulary review in the next few weeks as well as listening to some CDs and mp3s that I have, mostly Pimsleur and those from www.learnchineseez.com. I have been exposed to a lot of vocabulary, some I know really well, some not so well, the rest I have been exposed to only once or twice and haven't retained. Another blogger cantonese.hk/wp advised to focus on vocabulary in a recent post which makes sense to me right now. I have been focused on grammar and word order lately and maybe that has been a factor in loss of confidence.