Paul and Harry

When I first moved to NYC I wanted to experience all the culture it had to offer. I went to museums, plays, and dance performances regularly and saw films from all over the world and the whole range in terms of size and budget. Gradually I realized that I didn't like alot of it and I started to become more picky. I grew tired of looking for meanings within meanings within meanings, it just made me feel stupid. I was looking for culture that created connections to my own life and how others are similar/dissimilar to me and to really sound shallow-for beauty. I have never been the fan of art that is created to shock me. Real life is shocking enough. I do like how it can make me look at an idea/concept in a different way but at the same time I hate being hit on the head with a hammer in the process. And I don't know what it is but no matter how much I am enjoying an exhibit, I start yawning and can't wait to get to the last piece.

So I started going less and less frequently and often lost track of even what was going on. But luckily I have a friend who breaks me out of this mode periodically. He buys 2 or more tickets via TDF for things he wants to see and then goes down his list of friends to see if they would like to join him. I am not at the top of his list, but he knows I am on a budget and only have time to do these things on weekends. Last night I went with him to see the Paul Taylor Dance Company perform. There were three individual pieces and although the third was clearly the best I will probably always remember the first one because the first evoked wonderful memories for me.

The opening is a guy alone sitting crosslegged getting high dressed in a tank style t-shirt and blue jeans. As the piece goes on, more dancers join him and they all dance in a carefree, exaggeratedly relaxed style which I am sure much harder to do than it looks. They are all wearing jeans in the styles that were popular in the 1970s--various degrees bell bottoms, the flat front with the double row of black buttons (how I wanted those at one time!), all that very pale blue. And the music--all Harry Nilsson songs, songs that I knew, songs that I heard on the radio when they first came out. I was very young in the 70s but this piece brought me back to that time in a way that I had not expected.

Frankly I felt so connected to this piece that although I appreciated the other two pieces on a intellectual level, they seemed too serious, too mechanical, which I am sure is an unfair assessment. And because the Olympics are still at the top of my brain, I started comparing moves to those I have recently seen in the figure skating competitions. LOL so clearly I wasn't in the moment like I had been in the first piece. For me, that piece should have been last because it set an emotional standard that the others couldn't reach. I didn't ask Larry what he thought, I didn't want to sound uncultured but also he is older and I am sure that piece didn't affect him in the same way.

My friend walked me to the closest subway station but I wasn't ready to sit on a train. I felt like moving and it was a beautiful night to be in Manhattan. My head was full of the better part of the 70s and Harry Nilsson. I walked past the next station and was about to continue walking past the third when reality set in, my boots aren't the best walking shoes and it was 11 p.m. with at least a 45 minute ride home.

But today I am listening to Harry, thanks to Paul.

Hong Kong Planning

Flight reservations, done. Hotel, also done.

The idea is to immerse myself in the language and the culture. I dream of living oveseas but I wonder if I am truly capable of it. So this is kind of my experiment. At worst I will just a wonderful vacation in the land of my dreams.

After some research I decided I would take a 3 week intensive course in Cantonese at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. But the application and the student visa required are making me rethink this. Maybe this is a bigger deal than I want it to be. I want to improve my Cantonese but do I want to work that hard on my vacation? I could study Cantonese more informally while I am there, it might even be more fun. I would be taking the beginner class and I am not strictly a beginner so it wouldn't be all brand new material, but it is 3.5 hours in class every day for 3 weeks with nightly homework. I like the idea of having somewhere to go everyday and it would fortify my foundation.

Then I think that I have been learning the language in a classroom long enough, now I need to go out and use it more informally. So maybe just some tutoring sessions or less formal classes would be fine. Again, I am thinking--my vacation. And having such an academic routine may not achieve my objective of immersing myself in the language and culture--I will be living the life of a student, enveloped in an academic bubble for 3 weeks. But adding a CUHK certificate would look good on a resumé, really good.

Pfft. Clearly I need to think on this some more. Maybe some divine inspiration would be good.

Winter blah

I have been in winter blah mode. Part of it is that it got colder, windier and snowier. Then I caught some sort of sore throat/cold that has been dogging me for at least 10 days now, it has been up and down, some days I feel I am almost over it then I start feeling sicker again. I am not one of those people that go to the doctor when they have a cold normally. Nor do I take a lot of meds, I believe in extra fluids and lots of rest generally. Being sick always puts me in the dumps, I am a bit of a drama queen when it comes to these things.

So I have been living even more monastically than usual. Work, the Olympics and lots of sleep. I don't usually watch the winter Olympics. Even though I have spent half my life in winter weather (so it seems) I am not a fan and so people who enjoy activities on ice and snow are kind of freaky to me as a rule. Then I look at the crowds in the stands wondering how many layers of clothes are they wearing? And because I tend to drink a lot of water I always have toilet facilities in mind--now there is a detail NBC has yet to cover LOL--I would hate to have to use a portapotty in below freezing weather.


I did go out yesterday to celebrate Chinese New Year with my fellow Cantonese students and our teachers. Chinatown was awash in dancing lions, flying colorful paper and I even had a little colored string battle at one of my friend's storefront with both adults and children. I had never done that before and it was fun. It was funny to see the variety of reactions of those who accidentally would get streamed, it was so crowded on Mott St, it was bound to happen--one woman was really annoyed, clearly not in the spirit of the holiday. CNY is not the time to be in a hurry walking via Chinatown or expecting not to be accosted by a dancing lion or something else colorful--but maybe she was in winter blah mode too.

Now I am feeling somewhat better and the weather is actually pretty nice again--for winter that is--so hopefully this winter blah is on its way out.

The self-serving volunteer

Back in October I started doing some volunteer work via NYCares. My first project was/is an Early Morning reading program that I do every week. We go and read with kids between grades 2 and 4. This can be fun, frustrating, rewarding--sometimes at the same time. I signed up for it because it takes place at a dual language school and I could learn more about how language is learned. It depends on the child and the situation whether that actually happens of course. But today a little interaction with a young boy was something along the lines I was hoping for. We were reading "The Lorax" and he said someone "colored" the Lorax. And I didn't see it. We went back and forth between two pages and I said the colors were the same and then he came up with the word "ink" and I saw what he meant-sure enough someone had made a couple of small lines in pen on the Lorax. I love those moments when someone uses a different word than I expect because it really makes me think about the language.

In December I started going for English Conversation in Chinatown with adults a few evenings a month. These are immigrants from China and Hong Kong who are working on their English skills. At first I was working with this guy whose English was not good enough to be there quite frankly. It was hard for him to understand me, no matter how slowly I spoke and when he would answer me it was often not an answer that fit my question. It was frustrating for both of us. Lately I have been with other students who can understand and respond much better. We have interesting coconversations, with them sometimes explaining things to me about their lives and with me sometimes teaching them new vocabulary. One example is when two women and I were discussing coupons and one woman said that they don't always work for what you want to buy and I introduced them to the term "fine print." I love it that we are all learning.

I am in awe of them because for most of them, English is not their 2nd language but 3rd sometimes 4th. I have long wanted to be bilingual but have yet to get close. I think about my level of Cantonese and I am nowhere near the level where I could partake of a program like this. I am hoping that my trip to Hong Kong will propel me closer to it at the very least.

unnecessary stress

I am a librarian. I don't have a job where anyone's life is on the line. I barely have a role in anyone's future, I might make it easier for them in some small way (or more difficult) but really in the scheme of their life, my role is minimal. But life at the library has been stressful lately mainly because I work where we evaluate each other and everyone is working towards the golden ring (or noose) of tenure. We have had quite a few disagreements in this process and it has been very uncomfortable for me. I don't eat as well, sleep as well, I am tired and I don't want to do anything but veg when I get home. I thought maybe this was because this is my first experience with this process but I know other committee members have been struggling as well. It is almost over but it has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I think of escaping to a different job or a different career and then realize it doesn't much matter because all jobs have office politics that come to a head at some point or another. I just need to endure and to keep my integrity and my sanity until it is over.

I wasn't going to do an all text post again, I am sure it is boring for folks. I was going to take some pictures when I went for a walk in the park this weekend but forgot the camera. Too bad, I think I could have gotten some nice shots. So instead here is a picture of my dear departed dog, I had to put her down in mid-October. I think of her when I least expect--for instance my super called me at work on friday, something went wrong when repairing a leak in my upstairs neighbor's apartment and I needed to go home right away. It ended up being that water backed up via the sink, so not as big of a crisis as I had imagined when he called but still required two plumbers hours to fix it. But when I got the call my first thought was that if Yardley was still around she'd be in a panic. Two or three years ago my bathroom ceiling, which is no stranger to leaks, fell in and she tried to get out the bedroom window, damaging the window frame and hurting her paws in the process. And it took her days to truly calm down.

Clay Pots and Paper Sons

Today I went to have lunch with a friend. We started with the idea of hand pulled noodles but then ended up at Yummy Noodles (48 Bowery) which despite the name is known for their clay pot rice dishes. We had a Chinese sausage with preserved duck and Minced pork with preserved cabbage. It was excellent. I have walked by this restaurant hundreds of times, I can’t believe I haven’t eaten there before, what a shame! But you know there are probably couple dozen great restaurants that I have yet to try in Chinatown. It was a better meal than I had the other night when I was with another friend; we went to Wo Hop (17 Mott St.) and had Salt and Pepper fried Squid and Fried Tofu. Sadly the squid was too chewy. I have had it there before and it was fine, so I was surprised. My friend is going to take me to a different restaurant for squid next time we go out, she says it is always good there. Since I love squid, I am looking forward to that.

Back to today--after our yummy lunch we headed over to the Museum of the Chinese in America. It is quite a step up from the previous location because it is newly designed by Maya Lin. We arrived exactly as planned, for the gallery tour. Our docent wasn’t the most experienced but he was quite enthusiastic. And quite patient with some of the questions and comments. After the tour we went back thru the exhibit again to take a closer look at things. My friend was showing me this one particular display and said that it was symbolizing the “paper sons.” This was new to me. I knew about the Chinese Exclusion Act, of course, but I didn’t know of this way of getting around the law. A fire in San Francisco created this opportunity because many birth records were lost. Our docent had touched on the interviews at Angel Island and how detailed the questions were but if he mentioned this as being one of the reasons, I didn't hear him.

Then because we both study Cantonese we were looking at some of the Chinese to English phrasebooks. The docent was nearby and seemed pleased that we were taking the time to notice these. Then I observed a simplified character and commented on it. He explained that when they simplified the Chinese characters sometimes they used older, no longer in use characters which were perhaps earlier attempts at simplification. Interesting, I wonder how true that is. That aside, the phrasebooks are quite revealing because it is all work related phrases, not something you'd see nowadays I imagine. I wish I could remember one completely but I can’t, but it was all about being able to understand or be able to give orders to do particular manual labor tasks.

Not a bad way to spend a cold day. I don't usually get to adventure too much on Saturdays, I usually have Cantonese class. But right now we are on a hiatus, so I have to take advantage while I can.

Clean Slate

Finally this morning I got my hard drive back, as a clean slate. Wow, how bizarre. It has been damn inconvenient being without my computer, then having to set up all the drives and programs so that I could work again. But I am loving how fast it is now and that because there is so little on it, what is on it is so much easier to find. Stark Simplicity. It also solved a dilemma of mine--whether I should change my wallpaper or not. It was a photo of my dearly departed, the best dog a woman could ever have. She died in mid-October. I was trying to decide if keeping it up there was getting to be morbid or if it was just a sweet memorial. Well, it is gone. I could get it off my USB or facebook or any number of places I have my dog's pix but I decided this was a good time to move on.


I had my Cantonese tutoring session last night. Via Skype, which I love. I was having a lot of difficulties with my tongue, I guess I was a bit rusty from the vacation. But it was really funny at one point, I was counting, 1oo1, 1oo2 ... and I kept mixing up my consonents, so "l" when it was supposed to be "ch" and vice versa. I must have done it 5x in a row, I would correct myself and do it again. Not only do I pay my tutor, I give her a good laugh. She is either really good or really bad at giving homework, I haven't decided. Sometimes I really have to think not only of what I would answer in Cantonese but also sometimes what I would answer in English!